My Ex Never Contacts Me First (Ex Doesn't Initiate with You) (2023)

FAQs

Why doesn t he initiate contact first? ›

Sometimes he is hesitant to initiate conversations because of a previous relationship. Maybe he was cheated on by a partner or was in an abusive relationship. Due to the toxic past relationship influence, he may be protective of his feelings in the present and this may lead him to avoid any initiated interactions.

Culprit #1: Your Text Message Was Boring

Without a hook, your ex may want to be polite and send a short response, but he is not likely to give you the long response you want. Make sure you do not fall prey to old communication patterns. In other words, make sure your text messages don't suck.

Your ex might not be responding to you because they're short on time, they have too much emotional baggage, or because your message just wasn't interesting enough for them. Either way, these four things will help ensure that your ex responds to you: Complete the no contact rule before reaching out to your ex.

If she still doesn't answer, leave it for a day or two and then call her again. Chances are, she will be curious about what you want and she will answer this time. If not, text her this: “Hey! I tried calling you yesterday to ask you something quick, but I assume you were too busy to answer.

They Never Text You First. Conversations are a two-way street. If you are putting in all the work and effort to initiate the conversation or keep it going, you're better off just letting them go. You deserve someone who is just as eager and excited to get to know you as you are about them.

Your ex probably doesn't want anything to do with you right after a breakup, so there's almost no chance they'll respond to you, and if they do respond, it'll probably be something along the lines of “leave me alone.”

Your ex might be sending you mixed signals because they are experiencing confusion about how to handle the breakup. They aren't sure exactly how they are feeling yet and want to keep their romantic options with you open in case they decide they want to come back.

They might have an innocent reason, like a desire for friendship they don't quite know how to communicate. Sometimes, though, breadcrumbing from an ex can also suggest an attempt to maintain control or rekindle your interest, particularly if you ended the relationship.

How do you know if your ex is not interested in you anymore? ›

They might change their number, block you on all social media platforms, or block your calls and messages. They make every possible effort to not be available for you. If this happens for quite some time, it's a clear sign that they are not interested in contacting you or being contacted by you.

In general, no contact works best on people who tend to act on impulse, and on those with little patience. Because the truth is, during no contact with your ex, they will start to miss you no matter what. What they do with that feeling is dependent on their personality.

Maybe they moved on and want nothing to do with you anymore. Maybe they're doing the whole no-contact thing. Maybe they're pissed off. Your ex could also just be protecting themselves from any unwanted emotions — perhaps they fear that if they respond, they'll re-open their breakup wounds.

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.

He could just be busy. If he's having a busy time at work or with his other personal life, he might not be able to text you first all the time. It also means you're not really a priority to him. Guys who text you first are making you a priority.

Give it a few days (or even a week).

Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing. If you've waited more than a week and still haven't heard back from him, it might be time to move on.

Eye contact: Flirty eyes are a great way to show them interest. Smile: Make sure you smile as they share a story or answer a question. Subtle touch: If the opportunity presents itself, putting your hand on their forearm or upper arm is a great way to let them know you're interested without being too forward.

Do men miss you when you don't contact them? ›

Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.

Wait 4-6 weeks after the breakup for your ex to text you first. If you're nervous or unsure about whether your ex-girlfriend wants to hear from you, you could wait for her to text you. That way, you'll know for sure she's ready to talk.

Distancing yourself from your ex gives you space to explore your emotions, gives you the time to process the hurt, gives you perspective, and more, which eventually allows you to move on from the heartbreak. Forget what guys feel when their ex ignores them or what anyone feels when they are cut off by their ex.

Don't be hasty

Don't text your ex the moment you have the thought or the urge. Instead, go do something else to distract yourself, and see if in 30 minutes you still have the urge to text them. Watch a movie, take a bath, go to a workout class, whatever feels good for you, and leave your phone out of reach.

If your ex is being hot and cold with you, the simplest way of dealing with it is through communication. Talk to your ex about what's bothering you. Why you think they're leading you on, and ask them why they're doing it. Through communication, you can then choose your next step, even if it involves blocking your ex.

One of the telltale signs he is hurt after the breakup is if he can't stop talking to you. Indeed, he knows you guys have broken up, but letting go is hard for him. He will text you, call to ask about your work and friends, or look for an excuse to hear your voice. These signs mean he cannot accept your separation.

If you're wondering if an ex still thinks about you, the answer is probably yes. This is simply because we create deep bonds with the people we have relationships with, and our memories of our former partners don't just disappear after a breakup.

The psychology of no contact on dumper is a coping mechanism to help you think hard about what went wrong and how you could be a better person and a potentially better partner to the next person who will come along. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing.

How do you get your ex to text you? ›

What happens when you ignore a breadcrumber? The moment you start ignoring a breadcrumber, you stop feeding their ego. Eventually, they will get the message and move on.

Feel if they are distant.

If your ex suddenly grows distant from you, this can be a sign that they've moved on. If they longer share details from their life, no longer reach out to you for support, or no longer allow themselves to be close to you physically, they may be in love with someone.

Radio silence simply refers to the act of being distant from your partner in order to make him come back to you. When done the right way, it allows your ex to miss and crave you more. It reaffirms and reawakens the feels he has for you, compelling him to come back.

If you want your ex to miss you, there are a few things you can do to make them crave you even more and try to reconnect. Give them their space and let them realize the repercussions of your absence from their life. Step out of your comfort zone and try out new things like poetry sessions, theater plays, and so on.

There are a few practical signs that your ex misses you, like if they tend to keep popping up in your life or you notice them liking your social media posts. Those are the biggest indicators, but it's best to be straightforward and ask someone if you want to know how they're feeling.

If an ex partner is pushing you away or avoiding you, it means that they need space. You might not want to give them the space because it's scary and you're worried about losing them for good, but one of the best things you can do to get an ex back is to take a step back so that you can make a stronger comeback.

Even if things did end in a less-than-ideal manner, you could still respond, especially if an apology or candid heart-to-heart was involved. This could provide you with closure, but if you're still upset over the breakup, it's perfectly acceptable to ignore it.

What are the stages of no contact? ›

These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. We don't necessarily go through them in any specific order, and we don't graduate from one before we move on to the other and never look back. It's very possible to alternate between two stages, sadness and anger.

A woman experiencing the stages of no contact is likely to feel angry, sad, and lonely. While a woman is likely to feel sadness in the early stages of no contact, she will quickly get over her ex as time goes on.

If the relationship was good and the breakup response was decent by no contact being implemented soon enough, the odds are about 70%. So the best-case scenario of the No Contact Rule is a 70% success rate in getting an ex back.

Yes, guys sometimes wait for you to text first.

While some guys like to make the first move, others are a bit shy. Don't be afraid to make the first move! Pay attention to how the guy acts around you. If he smiles and talks to you, he might like you back.

He might be avoiding eye contact if he's attracted to you or if he's working up the courage to ask you out. He might also be avoiding eye contact if he's in a bad mood or feels guilty about something. Or, not making eye contact might just be a normal part of his personality.

He could just be busy. If he's having a busy time at work or with his other personal life, he might not be able to text you first all the time. It also means you're not really a priority to him. Guys who text you first are making you a priority.

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

It may not mean that he's no longer into you; it might be that he's just comfortable letting you take the lead in the relationship. You can either ask him point blank, continue to wonder, or stop initiating contact with him and see what happens. I advise you to ask him directly.

Going overboard with the emoji.

1/3 of men think more than 3 emojis in a text is too many emojis. Only 21 percent of men use emojis themselves. 3. Making vague suggestions that he entertain you, such as: "I'm bored," "What r u up to?," and "Heyy hows it goin?" (This is for those of you in the dating world.)

Feel free to text him first.

You've probably been told at some point that you should wait for him to make the first move. The truth is, you don't have to! You can totally text him a short message that lets him know you're interested. This also shows him you're confident and not afraid to get what you want.

What do guys find attractive when texting? ›

Guys love hearing what you like about them.

You could mention how he looks, how he handles a situation, or how you feel about him. Just try to stay away from heavy-handed compliments if you don't mean them though; guys can see right through them. “I bet you're looking really handsome today 😘 just like every day!”

Avoiding eye contact may indicate lack of interest, avoidance, denial, or awkwardness. If you try to have an honest conversation with you ex, but he or she continues to be fidgety and avoiding your gaze, your ex may not be ready to talk with you yet.

Men may not miss you for some days after the breakup. But that is just an initial phase. After things start to settle down, the male mind, during the no-contact phase, starts to look for your presence in his life. He slowly starts to miss you and your presence in his life.

Yes. Avoiding eye contact can indicate a sign of attraction between two individuals. You might be avoiding eye contact with a girl because you are nervous about speaking. You may catch yourself glancing at her for a long time, and you might look away when her eyes meet yours.

Close Settings. As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.

Sometimes, these guys might just not be texting first because they're enjoying you making the first move – they respect female power and they assume that you're loving what you're doing. The key with these guys is not to get sucked into endless texting. It's fine to text first but, again, make it a means to an end.

Can he? Yes, very much so. He could be scared of texting you too much and coming across as desperate. So he may not be texting you because he does not want to come across that way.